Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I'm thankful

I wanted to jot down a couple of thoughts of gratitude.

Luckily I re-read what I wrote about last Christmas.  How harried I was and that I vowed to have my shopping done by November 30.  I did it!  I'm so thankful I wrote that on this blog.  It's been so much better.  My attitude for Christmas has been so much more peaceful.

Next, year I need to have all the shopping AND the wrapping done by November 30.  I also need to write a list of everything I got the kids/family/friends, so I don't rack my brain constantly wondering if I got them equal stuff.

Last night I was literally up all night coughing.  I took plenty of cough medicine but nothing helped.  I got pretty upset that I couldn't rest.  But, then my gratitude attitude kicked in.  That's was so great!

I was grateful for:
-the fact I was in a nice warm home
-the fact that I could rest in a nice warm and soft bed
-indoor plumbing
-I had medicine
-I wasn't so bad that I had to be hospitalized

Things like that.  I had other thoughts that escape me now, but I'm so glad I was able to be thankful even in a time that wasn't so pleasant.  PERHAPS, I'm maturing.  Don't tell my parents.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Piano

I've been needing to write this down for a couple of weeks now.

Before we moved, I gave away our old piano that was actually Sam's dad's (Pop).  It was really old and not in very good shape at all and taking up a lot of room in the old house that I could use for packed boxes.

I've been looking for a replacement piano ever since but just didn't really pursue it.  I'd check Craigslist on a regular basis but that was about it.

I joined the Stake Choir for the community Christmas event and at the first rehearsal, I felt so impressed by the Spirit that I needed to get a piano as soon as possible.  It was an urgent feeling.  So, I started a new more earnest search.

I had seen an ad for a Kohler and Campbell piano on Craigslist for a month or so.  The price was out of my range which was about $500 or so.  This was listed at $1500.  Then I saw it start to come down in price.  She put it back up for $1200.  Hmmm....I may be able to twist Sam's arm but that's a lot of money.  I contacted her and planned to go play it.  But, the schedule didn't work out and I never got over there.  The Wednesday after choir practice I saw that she had reduced the price to $800.  I called immediately and arranged to go play it the next day.  The seller's house was literally about a mile from my new house.  The piano was only six years old and in perfect condition but was out of tune.  I played it a bit and then asked the seller's mother (who had let me in) if she knew the last time the piano was tuned.  She called her daughter (Ebony) and I was able to talk with her.  I told her the piano was quite out of tune and sounded tinny.  I learned from Wendy McNiven that it's best to play a piano regularly for it to keep it's tuning.  This piano hadn't been touched in years.

I asked Ebony what the lowest offer she'd take on it.  She thought for a moment and said $600.  I was tickled with that but asked if she could do $500.  No, $600 was the best.  Fine by me!  I ran home and called Sam.  Checked with Wendy McNiven and even called a piano dealership out in Salt Lake City.  The dealer told me that the piano, if traded in, would fetch me a $1000.  I was sold.

Sam made all the arrangements to move the piano.  I'm so grateful for him.  He rented a little trailer from Uhaul and Jim D'Amico and Scott Nesbit helped move it.  Pianos are so dang heavy.  It's beautiful.

I'm so grateful to God for blessing me with it.  I know He did it for me.  I know it.  The Holy Spirit confirmed it to me.  What a wonderful Father we have that would pay attention to such insignificant wants as to arrange it all.  We just have to pay attention for the opportunities He gives us and the answers to our prayers.

I can't express my gratitude enough.  I never will be.  Not just about this but everything else.  I need more gratitude.  Mo' please.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Gratitude Month

I made it to November.  I love the Thanksgiving holiday.  I think I've finally settled down to this being my favorite holiday.  I love to celebrate the holiday the whole month of November.  I try to celebrate it the whole year.

While I was praying this morning, I was saying to the Lord that I wanted Him to be thankful for me.  I quickly admitted that He was perfectly awesome at being thankful but that I wanted His gratitude to go deeper because of my gratitude towards Him.  I came to the conclusion that I wanted Him to trust me because of the gratitude I regularly offer to Him.

So, I'm pondering that for a while.  When we receive gratitude from others, it's natural to want to give them more of us.  Whether in the form of confidence or gifts, we trust them with more of who we are.  And as they continue to prove their loyalty?, not sure if that's the right word, we trust them with more.  I'm working this out a bit here.

When my children are heartfelt in their expressions of gratitude, I am filled with love and trust them more.  I give them more.  On the other hand, when they're whiney and ungrateful, I pull back and don't want to give them much at all.  And I'm talking about stuff like the extras....ipods, friends over, staying up later...that type of thing.

Gratitude, as stated by President Monson last year, is the parent of all the other virtues.  I can see how being grateful really generates more of all the good feelings (virtues), which allows me to be happier and much more content.  Gratitude keeps away the fears that plague us.  Gratitude helps me want to be of service to others and step outside my comfort zone.

Gratitude is good. I pray for more of it.  President Monson said that as we practice it more and more, it will eventually be a way of life for us.  I'm hoping I get there sooner than later.

I do have to thank my parents again for teaching me the basics of gratitude.  Without their guidance and example, I would be starting off at a different point entirely.  I hope to be able to do the same for my children.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Struggling

I'm struggling with my gratitude at the moment.  I've been trying hard to keep it in the forefront, but I think I'm losing the battle.  This is a moment I just need to write about.  Get it out and move on.

I should be more grateful for our new house.  I'm not.  I'm struggling with our new ward.  They're lovely people, I just miss the Sewell ward where I've made my home for the last 14 years.  I miss the warmth and comfort.  Everyone knew me.  What I mean by that is, they knew me for what I am.  I'm opinionated and less-than-tactful.  But, I'm always willing to help and serve and give.  The people in the new ward don't know me.  I feel rather judged and quite lonely.  Sundays are definitely the hardest days for me.  Kinda like when I was in college.  Sundays were the days I missed my family the most.

I know I'm supposed to pick myself up and be grateful for what I do have.  I'm trying. I really am.  I'm just not sure where I belong right now.  I'm having a hard time with all the moving clutter all around.  My brain isn't working so well because there's so much to think about.  Money is REALLY tight for us.  That's a bit disturbing because there is still so much in the house that we need to do.

I am thankful that Sam's business has increased quite a bit the last couple of weeks.  I'm thankful that we'll all pretty healthy and well.  We have heat in the downstairs.  Upstairs, not so much.  We took out the heater duct work for the upstairs when re-habbing the house.  So, the poor kids have to put lots of blankets on their beds for now.  We'll get them a couple of those radiator heater thingys for the time being as well.

There have been some other stressors that I've been pondering on how to deal with. I think I'm just going to have to fit them in my life and flip the switch to "off" when they leave.  "On" and "off".  I think that's the only way to handle it.  Let's see if that theory works.

This is just a lonely time for me.  I have struggled with it my entire life really.  Especially here in NJ.  It's not an easy place for me to live.  I wonder why God has allowed me to struggle with loneliness most of my life.  Hmmm....don't know.  He took a few of my best friends.  That still really stinks.

I ought to quit writing.  You'll think I'm a basket case.  I'm not really.  Just struggling today.  I'll be better tomorrow.  Monday's actually my favorite day of the week.

For that, I'll be grateful.

Oh, and we'll be having our traditional Family Home Evening on gratitude.  We put up the "Gratitude Tree" for the whole month of November.  I do love the Thanksgiving holiday.  That's something to make me happy too.  See, I'm feeling better already.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A New Take on Gratitude

I was blessed with a new use for gratitude last night while I was praying.  I had anger in my heart for someone and was praying about the situation.  I felt compelled to offer up gratitude for that person.  WHAT??!!!  That's not how it works. :)

So, I did.  I was amazed at how quickly the anger disappeared and love replaced it.  It was quite amazing.  I went to bed thinking of this concept and vowed to write it down the next day.  Alas!  I had already forgotten upon waking but this morning, I was blessed to have anger again and have the need for gratitude.  It works like a charm.

I will warn you though.  It's a little painful because most of us like to be angry.  It serves a purpose.  It allows to dwell on unfairness and victimhood.  Anger allows us to be selfish, which is a natural response to most everything.

So, be prepared, when you are angry and trying to forgive, gratitude is the quickest way.  But, it'll happen so fast that it'll take just a minute to check your selfishness and move on with a happier life.