Gratitude Month

I made it to November.  I love the Thanksgiving holiday.  I think I've finally settled down to this being my favorite holiday.  I love to celebrate the holiday the whole month of November.  I try to celebrate it the whole year.

While I was praying this morning, I was saying to the Lord that I wanted Him to be thankful for me.  I quickly admitted that He was perfectly awesome at being thankful but that I wanted His gratitude to go deeper because of my gratitude towards Him.  I came to the conclusion that I wanted Him to trust me because of the gratitude I regularly offer to Him.

So, I'm pondering that for a while.  When we receive gratitude from others, it's natural to want to give them more of us.  Whether in the form of confidence or gifts, we trust them with more of who we are.  And as they continue to prove their loyalty?, not sure if that's the right word, we trust them with more.  I'm working this out a bit here.

When my children are heartfelt in their expressions of gratitude, I am filled with love and trust them more.  I give them more.  On the other hand, when they're whiney and ungrateful, I pull back and don't want to give them much at all.  And I'm talking about stuff like the extras....ipods, friends over, staying up later...that type of thing.

Gratitude, as stated by President Monson last year, is the parent of all the other virtues.  I can see how being grateful really generates more of all the good feelings (virtues), which allows me to be happier and much more content.  Gratitude keeps away the fears that plague us.  Gratitude helps me want to be of service to others and step outside my comfort zone.

Gratitude is good. I pray for more of it.  President Monson said that as we practice it more and more, it will eventually be a way of life for us.  I'm hoping I get there sooner than later.

I do have to thank my parents again for teaching me the basics of gratitude.  Without their guidance and example, I would be starting off at a different point entirely.  I hope to be able to do the same for my children.

Struggling

I'm struggling with my gratitude at the moment.  I've been trying hard to keep it in the forefront, but I think I'm losing the battle.  This is a moment I just need to write about.  Get it out and move on.

I should be more grateful for our new house.  I'm not.  I'm struggling with our new ward.  They're lovely people, I just miss the Sewell ward where I've made my home for the last 14 years.  I miss the warmth and comfort.  Everyone knew me.  What I mean by that is, they knew me for what I am.  I'm opinionated and less-than-tactful.  But, I'm always willing to help and serve and give.  The people in the new ward don't know me.  I feel rather judged and quite lonely.  Sundays are definitely the hardest days for me.  Kinda like when I was in college.  Sundays were the days I missed my family the most.

I know I'm supposed to pick myself up and be grateful for what I do have.  I'm trying. I really am.  I'm just not sure where I belong right now.  I'm having a hard time with all the moving clutter all around.  My brain isn't working so well because there's so much to think about.  Money is REALLY tight for us.  That's a bit disturbing because there is still so much in the house that we need to do.

I am thankful that Sam's business has increased quite a bit the last couple of weeks.  I'm thankful that we'll all pretty healthy and well.  We have heat in the downstairs.  Upstairs, not so much.  We took out the heater duct work for the upstairs when re-habbing the house.  So, the poor kids have to put lots of blankets on their beds for now.  We'll get them a couple of those radiator heater thingys for the time being as well.

There have been some other stressors that I've been pondering on how to deal with. I think I'm just going to have to fit them in my life and flip the switch to "off" when they leave.  "On" and "off".  I think that's the only way to handle it.  Let's see if that theory works.

This is just a lonely time for me.  I have struggled with it my entire life really.  Especially here in NJ.  It's not an easy place for me to live.  I wonder why God has allowed me to struggle with loneliness most of my life.  Hmmm....don't know.  He took a few of my best friends.  That still really stinks.

I ought to quit writing.  You'll think I'm a basket case.  I'm not really.  Just struggling today.  I'll be better tomorrow.  Monday's actually my favorite day of the week.

For that, I'll be grateful.

Oh, and we'll be having our traditional Family Home Evening on gratitude.  We put up the "Gratitude Tree" for the whole month of November.  I do love the Thanksgiving holiday.  That's something to make me happy too.  See, I'm feeling better already.

A New Take on Gratitude

I was blessed with a new use for gratitude last night while I was praying.  I had anger in my heart for someone and was praying about the situation.  I felt compelled to offer up gratitude for that person.  WHAT??!!!  That's not how it works. :)

So, I did.  I was amazed at how quickly the anger disappeared and love replaced it.  It was quite amazing.  I went to bed thinking of this concept and vowed to write it down the next day.  Alas!  I had already forgotten upon waking but this morning, I was blessed to have anger again and have the need for gratitude.  It works like a charm.

I will warn you though.  It's a little painful because most of us like to be angry.  It serves a purpose.  It allows to dwell on unfairness and victimhood.  Anger allows us to be selfish, which is a natural response to most everything.

So, be prepared, when you are angry and trying to forgive, gratitude is the quickest way.  But, it'll happen so fast that it'll take just a minute to check your selfishness and move on with a happier life.

Gratitude for Trials

I was doing so well with the Christmas Spirit until Sunday. Then the Bah Humbug set in.  I've been working hard to overcome it before Christmas gets here.  I've enjoyed feeling the spirit of the season this year.  I've enjoyed trying to convey a more joyful spirit of Christmas to my children.  

I've been trying to figure out why I've been feeling do down and distracted and as I was reading the scriptures this morning, this is what I found.

1 Peter 1:6-7

6Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a ^aseason, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold ^btemptations:

 7That the ^atrial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the ^bappearing of Jesus Christ:

So, from this I learned a couple of things:

1.  Manifold temptations--upon further reflection I've learned that my body really is weak. It wants to eat the fun foods of the season.  It doesn't want to get up and exercise.  Sleep hasn't been easy lately either.  My mind isn't remembering very well.  I'm easily overwhelmed and riled up to anger.  I have such a desire to serve other people but I'm not organized enough to get it all done.  I could go on and on and on and on....really. 

I'll share something personal.  I've been struggling in spirit as well.  No wonderful the Bah Humbug has made room in my heart.  I haven't been keeping my spirit strong...I've been trying, but the combo of the weak body and weak spirit let in the Bah Humbug.  

2.  Trial of Faith--my trial is something that I've manufactured this time.  I can honestly say that I am truly grateful for many, many things.  My whole family is healthy and has been healthy for a long time.  Sam's business is doing very well.  We're able to be generous in our donations to others.  I could go on and on.....really.  And I try to during my prayers.

I think I'm placing too much importance on some things that really aren't that important and that no one expects me to do.  It's all pressure that I've been putting on myself.  That's not so smart, is it?

I don't think this particular Trial is as being tried by fire.  I've had some of those too.  But, I will say that I'm thankful for this Trial.  It is more precious than gold to me.  It's making me dig a little deeper into my faith and beliefs.  This is the reason why I am posting on this blog. 

It's a different type of grateful post.  I'm still working on getting the spirit of the season back into my heart.

I do know that I need to have all my Christmas shopping done before the beginning of December.  I had such a nice time with the kids in the beginning of the month, doing some Christmas activities with them.  When I'm out of control, I can't bring myself to be festive.  I love the joy and peace I feel when I'm actively participating with my children.  This observation needs to be applied throughout the year.

It's all good.  Thank you for the time you took to read my post.  I hope it's been helpful.  They're just some of my reflections and ramblings.  

Merry Christmas!!

Advent

Warning: The beginning of this post is just slightly negative, but it'll get better.

To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of Christmas. I figured out why last year, but it's a personal family reason and I wish not to divulge. Now that I know the reason, I'm out to fix it so that my kids don't repeat my Grinchy feelings for the holiday.

I'm grateful for a good God that allows us to figure things out. Why we do the things we do, etc. I'm thankful that He believes in us to fix them with His help. That's my hope this Christmas season and for future Christmases.

So, my husband and I had a little chat with my kids about "stuff", getting and receiving. We talked to them about the holiday and it's purpose. (I'm still convincing myself on some of it as I fix my attitude.) While talking with the kids, I realized that I want the month to be a focus on service and charity.

I had a friend, Jolene, who died too early as far as I'm concerned. She was always happy. Even when she wasn't happy she was able to bring with her a spirit of joy into a room. I love her dearly and miss her tremendously. But she left me with a desire to be more like her.

A friend of mine said that, "Jolene's mission in life was to fling joy." I've NEVER forgotten that. I am teaching my children that flinging joy is serving others. Just lifting their eyes a little higher, making their journey just a little brighter. It's not fixing their lives or controlling them. We're all here on earth to make the journey a bit more joyful for the next person. Whether family, friend or stranger.

So, today....the kids and I talked about doors. Physical doors as well as figurative doors. Especially doors that open to the love of Christ. Allowing Him in. That is what this season really is. Doing the things that He would do to fling joy to others.

The kids are working together as roommates to decorate their bedroom doors. This is such a good thing. I can not express the joy I am feeling right now. My boys are planning things out and talking to each. Creating a masterpiece, quite frankly. Usually they fight and blame each other. Today they are creating together.

The girls are learning to compromise. Lucy is a bit more literal and by-the-book (like her mother). Leah is more creative and out-of-the-box in her thinking. They're having to work together to bring a create something they both love using their diversity. It's working. They're talking and creating.

What a blessing I am experiencing today! I put on some Christmas music in the background as mood music. I am feeling the Spirit of Christmas today. My house is far from clean and tidy. We're all a bit hungry and the laundry isn't done, the baby is tired and needs to go to bed....but....we're enjoying our time together working on a project that represents the door to our hearts and the Master that wishes us to open that door to Him that He may "sup with us."

Lucy just came upstairs and asked if they could do this every year and make it a tradition. Hmmm....I'm thinking thinking their feeling the Spirit of Christmas too.

Gratitude Tree

Three years ago our family started our annual Gratitude Tree. The first day of November we gather together as a family and talk about gratitude. I buy a paper tree from www.orientaltrading.com to put up on the wall with tacky putty stuff you can get at Walmart or Target or a drug store. The tree comes with about 25 leaves but I use my Cricut to cut out more leaves, though I've also cut out leaves by hand before too.

After our family gathering, we each write on a leaf about something we are grateful. We do this throughout the month individually. I just keep a pile of leaves, a pen and some putty handy to make it easier to add to the tree.

This is a picture of our tree on November 22nd. We still have a few days to go. We pull all the leaves off the tree on Thanksgiving Day and read them aloud while we eat our meal. It's so fun to hear the different leaves. Now that the kids are getting older, they write more and they definitely have creative minds. Robbie wrote on one: "I'm thankful for my respiratory system." That's one I hadn't thought of.

It's also fun because the kids have been writing leaves for Liliana. Things like "I'm thankful for my pacifiers and Johnny Jump-up."

I got the idea originally from a youth leader long, long ago when I was a youth. :) She said her family would take an empty shoe box and decorate it like a turkey. In the top they would cut a slit. Next to the turkey box, they'd have a pile of slips of paper and a pen on which to write snippets of gratitude. They would read the slips of paper at their Thanksgiving dinner.

I tried to do that one, but it didn't work for our family. The tree on the wall works well because it doesn't get lost in our clutter and it is big and is a challenge to fill up before Thanksgiving.

I hope this may inspire you to consider adding a tradition in your family that lasts a whole month.

Job and Me

For two weeks I was in a load of pain dealing with the aftermath of a root canal. I was truly not expecting pain. Silly huh?

I learned a few things. I drew upon some experience and patience actually. I knew that eventually the pain would go away. I didn't know how it would happen or when. But, I knew it wouldn't last forever. I was right. It did take about 10 days. But, on that 10th day when I finally felt some relief, I was so very grateful.

I also learned that being grateful during massive amounts of pain is not easy. I don't know that I succeeded in my quest for gratitude. I tried not to impose my misery on the rest of my family, but I don't know if that worked either.

My thoughts continue to gravitate towards Job of the Old Testament. He was the richest man in the land. He had everything. One by one, right after each other, everything was taken from him. All of his possessions and his children. (Just as a side note: I wonder why the Lord didn't allow his wife to be taken too)

When losing all the possessions and children didn't deter his love of God, he was stricken with boils and horrible physical ailments. His friends and wife told him to curse God and die. In those days, when bad things happened to you, it was obviously something YOU did that brought the bad luck. It's interesting that Job did not subscribe to that train of thought. He was sure of his place and relationship with the Lord. Not once does he falter. He remains strong and determined.

I've come to really love Job. Especially during his trials. Yes, all of his possessions were given back twofold. His children were also given back to him. But, that's not why I like this story. I like it and feel drawn to it because of his perseverance and faith. No doubt this man was filled with gratitude.

President Monson suggested that gratitude is the parent of all virtues. I believe it. Gratitude is the ability to see what one does have even when it doesn't look like much. Clearly Job had nothing. Not even the support of his wife and friends during his time of trial. But, because he was grateful for his relationship with the Lord, he was able to focus on what that really meant and hang on to it. He understood that Jesus was his Redeemer and that the worldly things he enjoyed were icing on the cake. All of the worldly possessions were stripped of this man and yet, he was still hopeful and able to sing the praises of the Lord.

I look forward to meeting Job one day. To thank him for his great example and his strong testimony. I hope that I'll be able to duplicate his example to those I love.

I'm thankful for good parents that taught me to hang on to the precious testimony of Jesus being my Redeemer. They have been such good examples to me of doing the hard thing. They have been my heroes more than they'll ever know.

Here's to having gratitude as our parent virtue! I hope that we'll all be able to build upon this happy foundation.