Gratitude Tree

Three years ago our family started our annual Gratitude Tree. The first day of November we gather together as a family and talk about gratitude. I buy a paper tree from www.orientaltrading.com to put up on the wall with tacky putty stuff you can get at Walmart or Target or a drug store. The tree comes with about 25 leaves but I use my Cricut to cut out more leaves, though I've also cut out leaves by hand before too.

After our family gathering, we each write on a leaf about something we are grateful. We do this throughout the month individually. I just keep a pile of leaves, a pen and some putty handy to make it easier to add to the tree.

This is a picture of our tree on November 22nd. We still have a few days to go. We pull all the leaves off the tree on Thanksgiving Day and read them aloud while we eat our meal. It's so fun to hear the different leaves. Now that the kids are getting older, they write more and they definitely have creative minds. Robbie wrote on one: "I'm thankful for my respiratory system." That's one I hadn't thought of.

It's also fun because the kids have been writing leaves for Liliana. Things like "I'm thankful for my pacifiers and Johnny Jump-up."

I got the idea originally from a youth leader long, long ago when I was a youth. :) She said her family would take an empty shoe box and decorate it like a turkey. In the top they would cut a slit. Next to the turkey box, they'd have a pile of slips of paper and a pen on which to write snippets of gratitude. They would read the slips of paper at their Thanksgiving dinner.

I tried to do that one, but it didn't work for our family. The tree on the wall works well because it doesn't get lost in our clutter and it is big and is a challenge to fill up before Thanksgiving.

I hope this may inspire you to consider adding a tradition in your family that lasts a whole month.

Job and Me

For two weeks I was in a load of pain dealing with the aftermath of a root canal. I was truly not expecting pain. Silly huh?

I learned a few things. I drew upon some experience and patience actually. I knew that eventually the pain would go away. I didn't know how it would happen or when. But, I knew it wouldn't last forever. I was right. It did take about 10 days. But, on that 10th day when I finally felt some relief, I was so very grateful.

I also learned that being grateful during massive amounts of pain is not easy. I don't know that I succeeded in my quest for gratitude. I tried not to impose my misery on the rest of my family, but I don't know if that worked either.

My thoughts continue to gravitate towards Job of the Old Testament. He was the richest man in the land. He had everything. One by one, right after each other, everything was taken from him. All of his possessions and his children. (Just as a side note: I wonder why the Lord didn't allow his wife to be taken too)

When losing all the possessions and children didn't deter his love of God, he was stricken with boils and horrible physical ailments. His friends and wife told him to curse God and die. In those days, when bad things happened to you, it was obviously something YOU did that brought the bad luck. It's interesting that Job did not subscribe to that train of thought. He was sure of his place and relationship with the Lord. Not once does he falter. He remains strong and determined.

I've come to really love Job. Especially during his trials. Yes, all of his possessions were given back twofold. His children were also given back to him. But, that's not why I like this story. I like it and feel drawn to it because of his perseverance and faith. No doubt this man was filled with gratitude.

President Monson suggested that gratitude is the parent of all virtues. I believe it. Gratitude is the ability to see what one does have even when it doesn't look like much. Clearly Job had nothing. Not even the support of his wife and friends during his time of trial. But, because he was grateful for his relationship with the Lord, he was able to focus on what that really meant and hang on to it. He understood that Jesus was his Redeemer and that the worldly things he enjoyed were icing on the cake. All of the worldly possessions were stripped of this man and yet, he was still hopeful and able to sing the praises of the Lord.

I look forward to meeting Job one day. To thank him for his great example and his strong testimony. I hope that I'll be able to duplicate his example to those I love.

I'm thankful for good parents that taught me to hang on to the precious testimony of Jesus being my Redeemer. They have been such good examples to me of doing the hard thing. They have been my heroes more than they'll ever know.

Here's to having gratitude as our parent virtue! I hope that we'll all be able to build upon this happy foundation.

Pep

I've found over the last couple of weeks that as my gratitude grows, so is my energy. I'm finding myself more patient with my children, more tolerant of my messy home and more able to see good in all things.

Then, I hit today. I over did yesterday. I went walking early yesterday morning. Then on a whim, I took all five of the kids into Philadelphia to the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. It was a great day. But, all my energy has been sucked out of me. I'm really tired today. Plus, I've been healing from a root canal that I got on Tuesday. I think the pain of the root canal has put more of a drain in my energy than my kids have.

So, my question is: Can I still feel loads of gratitude and not feel peppy? I've come to expect an euphoric state of mind with my increase of gratitude. I'm happy and fun to be around. I play with my kids. Work alongside my kids. I'm more committed to eating healthily and moving my body. I find simple ways to fling joy.

Today, I'm not feeling any of it. I'm tired and worn out. All I want to do is eat and watch tv. I do think there is something to be said for resting. Am I resting or just being lazy? I'm not really sure actually.

The thought just came to me to list a few things for which I'm grateful in my current state.

1. I'm grateful for a sleeping baby that isn't crying or fussing right now. Allowing me to rest my mind and body.

2. I'm thankful for four other children that know how to work the DVD player downstairs all by themselves.

3. I'm thankful that Lucy cleaned the bathroom so well. (It needed it.)

4. I'm thankful for a hard-working husband that makes enough money for me to stay at home with the kids and take a day off to rest in the middle of the week.

5. I'm thankful for the tv. :)

6. I'm thankful for the leftovers from dinner last night that I ate this morning. Indian Food--butter chicken. So good!

7. I'm thankful that my children are healthy and most of the time happy.

8. I'm thankful for a country that allows me to raise my family according to my beliefs.

9. I'm thankful for a body that is trying so hard to change and is succeeding.

10. I'm thankful for my food storage. It's on my mind again, so I guess I need to go downstairs and figure out what I need to change, add or rotate.

That was ten things. Boom! Just like that. Isn't it wonderful? I may not be peppy right now, but I am grateful and am aware of just a few things that make my life a bit easier.

That gives me the energy to go get that sweet little baby out of her crib, now that she's awake.

I decided to post President Monson's talk on gratitude. I suggest you read it and re-read on a regular basis.

The Divine Gift of Gratitude

President Thomas S. Monson

A grateful heart . . . comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives.

This has been a marvelous session. When I was appointed President of the Church, I said, “I’ll take one assignment for myself. I’ll be the adviser for the Tabernacle Choir.” I’m very proud of my choir!

My mother once said of me, “Tommy, I’m very proud of all that you’ve done. But I have one comment to make to you. You should have stayed with the piano.”

So I went to the piano and played a number for her: “Here we go, [here we go] to a birthday party.”¹ Then I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and she embraced me.

I think of her. I think of my father. I think of all those General Authorities who’ve influenced me, and others, including the widows whom I visited—85 of them—with a chicken for the oven, sometimes a little money for their pocket.

I visited one late one night. It was midnight, and I went to the nursing home, and the receptionist said, “I’m sure she’s asleep, but she told me to be sure to awaken her, for she said, ‘I know he’ll come.’”

I held her hand; she called my name. She was wide awake. She pressed my hand to her lips and said, “I knew you’d come.” How could I not have come?

Beautiful music touches me that way.

My beloved brothers and sisters, we have heard inspired messages of truth, of hope, and of love. Our thoughts have turned to Him who atoned for our sins, who showed us the way to live and how to pray, and who demonstrated by His own actions the blessings of service—even our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In the book of Luke, chapter 17, we read of Him:

“And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem, that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee.

“And as he entered into a certain village, there [he met] ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off:

“And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.

“And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.

“And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,

“And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.

“And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?

“There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger.

“And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.”²

Through divine intervention those who were lepers were spared from a cruel, lingering death and given a new lease on life. The expressed gratitude by one merited the Master’s blessing; the ingratitude shown by the nine, His disappointment.

My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love.

My beloved friend President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives.”³

In the book of Matthew in the Bible, we have another account of gratitude, this time as an expression from the Savior. As He traveled in the wilderness for three days, more than 4,000 people followed and traveled with Him. He took compassion on them, for they may not have eaten during the entire three days. His disciples, however, questioned, “Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?” Like many of us, the disciples saw only what was lacking.

“And Jesus saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? And [the disciples] said, Seven, and a few little fishes.

“And [Jesus] commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground.

“And he took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks, and brake them, and gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.”

Notice that the Savior gave thanks for what they had—and a miracle followed: “And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.”⁴

We have all experienced times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”⁵

Gratitude is a divine principle. The Lord declared through a revelation given to the Prophet Joseph Smith:

“Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things. . . .

“And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”⁶

In the Book of Mormon we are told to “live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which [God] doth bestow upon you.”⁷

Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings.

This is a wonderful time to be on earth. While there is much that is wrong in the world today, there are many things that are right and good. There are marriages that make it, parents who love their children and sacrifice for them, friends who care about us and help us, teachers who teach. Our lives are blessed in countless ways.

We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”⁸

How can we cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude? President Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the Church, provided an answer. Said he: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!”⁹

President Smith is telling us that a prayerful life is the key to possessing gratitude.

Do material possessions make us happy and grateful? Perhaps momentarily. However, those things which provide deep and lasting happiness and gratitude are the things which money cannot buy: our families, the gospel, good friends, our health, our abilities, the love we receive from those around us. Unfortunately, these are some of the things we allow ourselves to take for granted.

The English author Aldous Huxley wrote, “Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”¹⁰

We often take for granted the very people who most deserve our gratitude. Let us not wait until it is too late for us to express that gratitude. Speaking of loved ones he had lost, one man declared his regret this way: “I remember those happy days, and often wish I could speak into the ears of the dead the gratitude which was due them in life, and so ill returned.”¹¹

The loss of loved ones almost inevitably brings some regrets to our hearts. Let’s minimize such feelings as much as humanly possible by frequently expressing our love and gratitude to them. We never know how soon it will be too late.

A grateful heart, then, comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. This requires conscious effort—at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude. Often we feel grateful and intend to express our thanks but forget to do so or just don’t get around to it. Someone has said that “feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”¹²

When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given.

I share with you an account of one family which was able to find blessings in the midst of serious challenges. This is an account I read many years ago and have kept because of the message it conveys. It was written by Gordon Green and appeared in an American magazine over 50 years ago.

Gordon tells how he grew up on a farm in Canada, where he and his siblings had to hurry home from school while the other children played ball and went swimming. Their father, however, had the capacity to help them understand that their work amounted to something. This was especially true after harvesttime when the family celebrated Thanksgiving, for on that day their father gave them a great gift. He took an inventory of everything they had.

On Thanksgiving morning he would take them to the cellar with its barrels of apples, bins of beets, carrots packed in sand, and mountains of sacked potatoes as well as peas, corn, string beans, jellies, strawberries, and other preserves which filled their shelves. He had the children count everything carefully. Then they went out to the barn and figured how many tons of hay there were and how many bushels of grain in the granary. They counted the cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, and geese. Their father said he wanted to see how they stood, but they knew he really wanted them to realize on that feast day how richly God had blessed them and had smiled upon all their hours of work. Finally, when they sat down to the feast their mother had prepared, the blessings were something they felt.

Gordon indicated, however, that the Thanksgiving he remembered most thankfully was the year they seemed to have nothing for which to be grateful.

The year started off well: they had leftover hay, lots of seed, four litters of pigs, and their father had a little money set aside so that someday he could afford to buy a hay loader—a wonderful machine most farmers just dreamed of owning. It was also the year that electricity came to their town—although not to them because they couldn’t afford it.

One night when Gordon’s mother was doing her big wash, his father stepped in and took his turn over the washboard and asked his wife to rest and do her knitting. He said, “You spend more time doing the wash than sleeping. Do you think we should break down and get electricity?” Although elated at the prospect, she shed a tear or two as she thought of the hay loader that wouldn’t be bought.

So the electrical line went up their lane that year. Although it was nothing fancy, they acquired a washing machine that worked all day by itself and brilliant lightbulbs that dangled from each ceiling. There were no more lamps to fill with oil, no more wicks to cut, no more sooty chimneys to wash. The lamps went quietly off to the attic.

The coming of electricity to their farm was almost the last good thing that happened to them that year. Just as their crops were starting to come through the ground, the rains started. When the water finally receded, there wasn’t a plant left anywhere. They planted again, but more rains beat the crops into the earth. Their potatoes rotted in the mud. They sold a couple of cows and all the pigs and other livestock they had intended to keep, getting very low prices for them because everybody else had to do the same thing. All they harvested that year was a patch of turnips which had somehow weathered the storms.

Then it was Thanksgiving again. Their mother said, “Maybe we’d better forget it this year. We haven’t even got a goose left.”

On Thanksgiving morning, however, Gordon’s father showed up with a jackrabbit and asked his wife to cook it. Grudgingly she started the job, indicating it would take a long time to cook that tough old thing. When it was finally on the table with some of the turnips that had survived, the children refused to eat. Gordon’s mother cried, and then his father did a strange thing. He went up to the attic, got an oil lamp, took it back to the table, and lighted it. He told the children to turn out the electric lights. When there was only the lamp again, they could hardly believe that it had been that dark before. They wondered how they had ever seen anything without the bright lights made possible by electricity.

The food was blessed, and everyone ate. When dinner was over, they all sat quietly. Wrote Gordon:

“In the humble dimness of the old lamp we were beginning to see clearly again. . . .

“It [was] a lovely meal. The jack rabbit tasted like turkey and the turnips were the mildest we could recall. . . .

“ . . . [Our] home . . . , for all its want, was so rich [to] us.”¹³

My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven.

As I close this morning, it is my prayer that in addition to all else for which we are grateful, we may ever reflect our gratitude for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. His glorious gospel provides answers to life’s greatest questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where do our spirits go when we die? That gospel brings to those who live in darkness the light of divine truth.

He taught us how to pray. He taught us how to live. He taught us how to die. His life is a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved.

Ultimately, He stood alone. Some Apostles doubted; one betrayed Him. The Roman soldiers pierced His side. The angry mob took His life. There yet rings from Golgotha’s hill His compassionate words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”¹⁴

Who was this “man of sorrows, . . . acquainted with grief”?¹⁵ “Who is this King of glory,”¹⁶ this Lord of lords? He is our Master. He is our Savior. He is the Son of God. He is the Author of Our Salvation. He beckons, “Follow me.”¹⁷ He instructs, “Go, and do thou likewise.”¹⁸ He pleads, “Keep my commandments.”¹⁹

Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His words. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.

My sincere, heartfelt prayer is that we may in our individual lives reflect that marvelous virtue of gratitude. May it permeate our very souls, now and evermore. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, our Savior, amen.

Evolution

I decided to just get started on this blog rather than really plan it out. I figure it will evolve into whatever it needs to be. Some sort of plan will develop.

My thought is to at the minimum record those things for which I'm grateful. I'd love to uncover some of the blessings that I chronically do not recognize. I think that the majority of our blessings are unrecognized and taken for granted. I'm hoping that I may unlock the doors of heaven by allowing the Lord to show me all that He does give me. I'm certainly not ungrateful but I do believe I can increase my gratitude.

I think I'd like to make this a year long effort at minimum. I'll be interested to see how my life is different in a year as I hopefully increase my gratitude.

I was teaching a sunday school lesson today about Job. What a wonderful lesson about gratitude. So many awful things happened to him. So many people were against him. Even his own wife. Physical afflictions that are just nasty to think about. And yet, he NEVER lost his focus or his gratitude. He was always certain of his relationship with the Redeemer of Israel. He knew that Jesus was the Savior. I think gratitude is a foundation for faith.

My Idea

My idea for this blog is to document my progress and observations in becoming more grateful.

I've always considered myself to be a grateful person. This is because of my parents' great influence and their diligence in teaching gratitude. They are very grateful people. They're quick to thank the Lord for their blessings. They're also gracious in thanking others.

Recently, President Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gave a talk about gratitude that has motivated me to ramp up my own professions of thankfulness.

You can read his talk by clicking on this link: Pres. Monson talk

It seems fitting to start this blog during the month of November. I decided last year, that my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I just really enjoy recognizing the blessings in my life.